Oh My God!
by hysterekal00
Summary: Everyone has a secret... watch as some of the most embarrassing ones about the marauders, Lily, and Severus are revealed! Collection of one-shots. NO SLASH ANYWHERE! BTW, everybody is in 7th year.
1. Oh My God Remus!

So I randomly came up with this a couple of days ago and thought it would be awesome to share it with you guys! This will become a group of one-shots in which every marauder, Lily, and Severus, will have something totally embarrassing about them revealed to the world! Yay! Please enjoy!

-AshMoon

Remus shoved a small, leather-bound book quickly under his pillow as he heard footsteps coming up the stairs. Sure enough, Remus' best friends, Sirius Black and James Potter, came bursting into their dorm, followed closely by another of Remus' friends, Peter Pettigrew. "Hey guys." Remus said, trying to draw attention away from the pillow and doing exactly the opposite.

"You hiding something, Remmie?" Sirius asked, laughter threatening to bubble over from his throat.

"N-n-n-no, of course not," Remus stuttered, inching slightly to cover a corner of the book that was poking out from the pillow. James, however, was the trained seeker, and snatched it from its hiding spot quickly.

"What might this be…?" James pretended to think. "Hmmm. Maybe if we open it, we could find out?" He looked at Sirius. "Would you like to do the honors?" James threw the book to Sirius who, despite Remus' protests, caught it and started reading the first page.

"James, we have a case." Sirius grinned.

"A case of what?" James replied, just as mischievous.

"A case of…" Sirius paused for dramatic effect. "A case of Remus having a diary!" Sirius dissolved in laughter, and Remus took his chance to snatch the book from Sirius.

"It is not a diary, it's a journal!" Remus growled, stuffing the diary, I mean, journal, back in his trunk.

Sirius glared up at him. "Fine. It's a _man_ diary. Happy now?" He cracked up again, and he and James rolled around on the floor.

Remus whirled around. "No. it has nothing to do at all with a dairy, okay?" He stared at Sirius.

Sirius smirked. "So if I share everything you have in it, I have to say it came from your journal and not your man diary? Where's the fun in that?"

Remus sighed. "I give up." He was walking to the door when Peter seemed to wake up from some sort of stupor.

"OH MY GOD, REMUS HAS A MAN DIARY!" he screamed, and ran out of the room. Remus took one look at Sirius and James, and joined them dying of laughter.

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	2. Oh My God James!

Soooo, I need a secret for Severus! I was thinking of a security blanket, but if you guys have any better ideas, they would be mucho appreciated! Just put them in your reviews! So yeah! On to the story! Oh, and I forgot the disclaimer last time, so here it is- I made up all the secrets, but the characters belong to Jo. Sadly. Ha ha ha.

-AshMoon

James woke to the sound of his alarm. He quickly stuffed his beloved teddy bear, Mr. Bo-Bo-Bear, deep into his trunk. He always woke 5 minutes before the others to hide him. Once the deed was done, he walked into the bathroom to shower.

Sirius was up exactly 5 minutes after James. Hearing the water running, he decided to play a trick. He pulled open James' trunk and searched around for his robes holding a bottle of itch powder in one hand. What he found was much more evil. He held the bear up to the light.

One eye was falling off, held by one, thin, black thread. The nose was almost non-existent, and one arm was hanging sadly in a way it was probably not supposed to hang. Sirius stifled a laugh. He quickly stuffed the bear under his sheets and pretended to have just gotten up.

"Morning, James." He muttered, pretending to yawn.

"Morning to you too, Sirius." James grinned, wrapping a towel tighter around his midriff while yanking a comb through his unruly hair. He dived into his trunk, looking for his robes. Sirius had to struggle to keep a straight face when he heard a gasp of surprise from behind the trunk lid.

"Everything okay, James?" Sirius asked, feigning concern.

"Yeah, um, everything's fine." James responded, although you would have to be an idiot not to hear the rising tones of panic in his voice.

"Are you looking for something?" Sirius grinned fully. 'Gosh, it is way too much fun to mess with these people's minds.' He thought.

James looked up. "No, of course not, what would I need to look for? I mean, like, I have everything in my trunk that I've always had. I mean, it's not like, like, something I didn't want you to find got stolen, of course not, why would I be looking for something? I mean, gosh. Come on man. Really?" James shut up, realizing he was rambling.

Sirius grinned evilly. "Are you sure you're not looking for…" he paused for (Wait for it…) dramatic effect, (Ha ha! Called it! AN) pulling the bear from its hiding spot and brandishing it about. "…This?"

James leapt at Sirius. "Give me that!" he yelled, waking up the other two inhabitants if the dorm. Remus sat up, blinking blurrily.

"What the heck…" Remus's voice trailed off. "Sirius, what us with the…" he saw James running after Sirius. "Oh, geez. Leave me out of this." Remus threw his pillow over his head and promptly fell back asleep. Peter sat up, eyes wide. "OH MY GOD, JAMES HAS A TEDDY BEAR!" he screamed, almost sounding scared. He jumped out of his bed and ran into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

James looked at Sirius. "What the heck was that about?" he asked.

"I don't know." Sirius though for a moment. (Wow! He can think?-AN) "But that is exactly what people will be saying when I brandish your bear all over the common room- I get a five second head start!" He ran out the door, laughing hysterically.

James' face turned an ugly shade of red. "Come back you little-"he ran after Sirius, and thankfully, his last words were cut off. (This is a family show, people! –AM. SO? James, Sirius *Facepalm*-AM)

AN- so yeah, I know, I failed to wrap it up well. BUT PLEASE REVIEW AND AWNSER MY QUESTION AT THE TOP! Thank you! You are the best if you review!


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